I think that it matters how we talk to AI.
In 1997 there was a Friends episode that featured Ben Stiller playing Rachel’s new boyfriend, Tommy. From the first time he is introduced, Tommy is a big hit with everyone in the group; everyone except for Ross. While the other five find Tommy to be hilarious, outgoing and extremely kind, Ross has a couple of private interactions with Tommy that make him think otherwise.
In the first situation the gang of friends plus Tommy head to the theatre. Before the show starts everyone but Ross and Tommy go to the bathrooms. While they are all occupied Ross watches Tommy berate an elderly couple for sitting in the wrong seats, calling them idiots and morons and chasing them out of the aisle. As the watching audience, we get our first glimpse, along with Ross, of what Tommy is really like.
In the next situation Ross and Tommy are outside of the coffee shop, while the other five are inside enjoying themselves. Ross turns around quickly with a hot cup of coffee, almost spilling it on Tommy’s shirt, which leads Tommy to another angry outburst. He yells at Ross, “You idiot! You gonna spill hot coffee all over me, huh?!”
Whats So Funny
The hilarious part of the episode is not jut watching Ben Stiller losing his cool and Ross awkwardly observing it; it is also watching Ross try to tell the other five what Tommy is really like and no one believing him. They all just chalk Ross’ dislike of Tommy up to jealously. That is, until the end when they all walk in on Tommy shouting at Joey and Chandler’s beloved duck. Finally, everyone sees behind the curtain and they see Tommy for what he really is: a hot-tempered lunatic.
Its funny how everyone who watches that episode makes the same conclusion. No one thinks that Tommy is really a nice guy, and the yelling is just a facade. Instead, we all conclude that Tommy is a really mean guy, and the kindness is the facade. We all understand the same thing, that who you are in private is who you really are, because its the private moments that most powerfully reveal your heart.
The true character of your heart comes out when you don’t think anyone is looking, when there is no one around to impress. And the heart is all that matters, because everything flows from that, whether good or bad. As Jesus says in Luke 6.45, "The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."
The question that we should be asking ourselves often then is what kind of things are flowing from our hearts? Or to say it another way, what are we like in private? Are we a bunch of ‘Tommys’?
AI Bullies
The more and more I use ChatGPT, the more and more I realize how “Tommy-like” I am when I speak to ChatGPT. It’s not a real person so I don’t talk to it like I would talk to a real person. I talk to it knowing no one else is watching, at that ChatGPT isn’t telling. When it fails to give me the information I want, I tend to get angry with it and giving it a taste of my anger. At times I become of a bit of a bully to ChatGPT.
You might say that there is no problem with calling a computer program a moron. It is just like calling a soccer ball a moron. An inanimate object. No harm, no foul. But I don’t think that’s true. Whether it’s a soccer ball or ChatGPT, those interactions are revealing something that exists in my heart. They are revealing, even just to a small degree, what I am like in private, and therefore what kind of treasure is living deep down in me.
I don’t want to be a Tommy. I want don’t want to have a façade. I want my life in public to flow out of a genuinely transformed heart. I want the fruit of the Spirit to cascade out of my private life into all of my public interactions. But in order for that to happen, I believe that I need to be intentional about allowing God to cultivate my heart in the times when no ones looking. That means it matters what I do in private, how I act in private, and how I speak in private.
So, it even matters how I talk to GPT when no ones looking.